How to Stop Self Sabotage Behaviour
What Causes Self Sabotaging Behaviour?
What is Self Sabotage in Psychology?
We often offer excuses as to why things don't work out, suggesting we are not the reviewers of good fortune on life. Alternatively it could be we simply don’t possess the knowledge required to be successful in life at that time.
Self Awareness of Self Sabotaging Behaviour
What we fail to consider is that we are in fact manufacturing the circumstances of our own lives via the process subconsciously sabotaging ourselves. To be able to overcome the act of self-sabotage we must in the first instance employ a degree of conscious awareness to examine our fears and emotions, and discover how they have an impact on our actions.
Having uncovered the reasons behind the self sabotaging behaviour, we may then put into practice take measures to prevent it from happening further down the line.
How the Subconscious Mind Acts
What’s actually going on when we begin to sabotage ourselves? in an unconscious way we may be scared by a certain outcome, even if believe it's what we want. If you look at the example of when you lose weight.
A lot of overweight people have been struggling for years, attempted numerous diet plans and even then don't lose the weight they would like to, or maintain a desired weight after finishing their diet.
They may well admonish themselves and try even harder, and try to get rid of the weight. But the question is what’s going on inside the mind? Do they with all their heart want to lose the extra weight?
It could be they say this is so, but what if the extra weight provides a barrier of protection and brings a degree of security to protect against a chaotic world? Could it be that they feel there is a need to covered up and be hidden?
If this is the case losing those extra pounds could be seen as a threat and terrifying possibility. This could lead to a sabotaging of their diet plans to avoid vulnerable feelings and the prospect of being exposed in the world. This could take the form of setting themselves up for fall by cheating on their levels of food intake, missing exercise sessions.
Avoiding Self Delusion
Other people could be intimidated by something like the beginning of a new career. Are you aware that there are quite a large number of people who actually don’t turn up for a job interview, this is even the case for highly paid jobs. Looking at a different example a mother returning to the workplace following years of absence to bring in money to help the family.
If it is the case she actually desires to stay home and be with her children, but then she is conflicted with the obligation to get work outside the home.
Consequently instead of applying as an alternative to applying for position suited to her skill level and application is placed for highly qualified position incompatible with her abilities and doesn't get the interview let alone the job.
Subconsciously, she is manipulating the situation to stay at home but tell herself and others she has made the effort.
How Fear Acts on the Mind
Those process of self-sabotaging may also be because they are scared of what other people think in case they achieve their objectives. They could be of the opinion they are not deserving of the outcomes they believe they crave, and therefore behave in a way which will bring about their failure.
These sabotaging actions are carried out in an unconscious way, so even those people conducting them believe they know what they desire. If they experience any uncertainty or doubts or fears, a way is found to make ensure it doesn’t come about.
How to Tackle Self Sabotaging Behaviour
Do you recognise yourself in these words? Do you think you have sabotaged yourself at sometime in your life? Is it something you do currently? Do you find difficulty moving forward with your objectives, irrespective of how hard you try?
The good news is we have the power to overcome self-sabotaging behaviour. The crucial aspect to preventing self-sabotaging behaviour is to keep in mind that it’s going on. Be consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.
If you have been experiencing difficulties with your goals examine in detail the setbacks suffered and take account of the situation. Is it that any of the hurdles you faced could have been side stepped by making better choices? Is that one goal in particular presented you with a great number of barriers, If so, are you self-sabotaging your efforts in this direction.
The Power of Meditative Thought
A brilliant way to connect with the subconscious mind is through enjoying a little time quietly meditating. Question what it is you could be scared of. What is the nature of your fears and uncertainties? What aspect of trying to attain this goal takes you out of your comfort zone?
By the process of writing the answers to these questions in a journal you can connect with the inner most part of yourself. This might not happen over night but with perseverance and practice you can learn to escape a self-sabotaging way of being which is preventing you from reaching your goals.
Realise you are in Control
When you eventually discover that it is you who is in control of your own destiny, you will be released from self limiting aspects of the mind. This will allow you to develop a clarity and insightful outlook concerning the goals you desire to reach. We will develop a greater awareness of possible setbacks and how to deal with them effectively.
These skills and ways of thinking will work to end the self-sabotaging behaviours and concentrate our energy for working to achieve our goals. Hopefully one day soon as opposed to being your own worst enemy in the form of self sabotage, you will be your biggest asset.
Discover How to face your fears?
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